Moving through change

Change is inevitable in life - we all can attest to this. But when we undergo major changes personally - it can be hard to integrate them, and know how to move through life in a new way. Sometimes major personal change is brought on by an illness, or going to therapy, having a child (or a transition in mothering ex. a child going to college), or a marriage or a divorce. We go through a period of time in which there seems to be a “before and after”. I was me before this event and now I am me after this event.

And with that, usually comes an unlearning of old ways, patterns and beliefs. Here’s an example… Maybe a relationship change has forced you to examine what you actually want and need in a relationship. And to attain this desire, you have to show up more assertively and confidently, with greater boundaries…. but how do you get there? Well, maybe you speak out more, say what you need, dress differently, or start journaling. But in this process, you notice that your friends and family are confused by your new behavior. They don’t know this new version of you. It can be tempting to revert back to your old ways in order to fit in and feel accepted. However, if you can hold the course, things begin to shift and you might actually start living out this new way of being in relationship… but it can feel messy.

There’s the “before you” and the “after you”.

Any major change in life can be disorienting - but finding ways to move through life differently can be empowering… and brave. During these times it can be very useful to engage in a creative activity (what did you like to do as a kid?), to write or journal, and/or to seek support from a therapist.

When we learn that change is inevitable, and can ultimately lead to a fuller life, we might open ourselves up to more goodness (authentic relationships, reflection time, connection to body), and the chance to truly get to know ourselves more deeply.